Three people sat at a kitchen table that night, watching snow fall outside. Two of them, Max and Samus, were drinking coffee. At night. Max stared down into his cup, distraught and worried. Samus set her cup down and sat up, watching Max half-crash on the table.
"It's not true... it isn't true... it can't be..." Max mumbled. "I come back for one week, and I'm stuck back in my other life. Dammit, I wanna leave..."
Samus looked at Max, and gently stroke his back with her hand. "Hey... at least you're stuck with me. And it's not SO bad, here... compared to Gaia anyway..."
Max raised his head and looked at Samus. "Are you kidding me? Have you looked outside lately?"
Radd currently was. expressionless, he stared out the kitchen window. "Snowin'"
Max pointed to Radd. "Thank you. I'm gonna put it to you easy: this place sucks. We're in an economical hellhole, our healthcare is outdated, there's whole countries ruled by tyrants, and they always will be, because no matter what you do, there's NO GOOD PEOPLE TO FILL THE POWER VACUUM!!" Max slammed his fists against the table.
Samus raised an eyebrow. "I'm pretty sure Gaia's gone through all of those in the last 50 years, at least. Seriously, Max, we're not candy-land. Not even in the Mushroom Kingdom. We just run things a little different over there."
Radd started laughing, face still turned away. Max and Samus started staring at him.
"He's right" Radd spoke, calmly. "Obviously he enjoyed it a lot more on Gaia than he does here. Too bad the only reason you got to go was because someone up there screwed up. You're no Game Master..."
Max clutched his coffee mug. Radd was starting to get on his last nerve. "...and I suppose that, amidst all of your corporate whoring and trying to wow kids with "Phantom Hourglass", hahahaha... ...somewhere in there, you still managed to actually play games?"
Radd turned around. "Maybe not all the time, but if you were the real Game Master, you wouldn't be in this predicament."
Samus began to intervene. "Max... don't..."
Max shot up, his chair making a noisy scoot against the floor. "Alright then, "Robby", if you're such a hotshot, answer me this: WHAT DO WE DO NOW!?"
Radd smiled, and shook his head. "Alright... alright... I know we've been travelling all over the last week or so, but... step one, we're gonna have to do it one more time. Don't worry, I can still get good tickets for us... But I stongly suspect this is gonna be a one-way trip..."
Lights could be seen outside, someone was home. "Okay Radd", Max nodded. "There's just one thing. What are you going to tell Mom and Dad?"
Radd shrugged. "Guess I better tell 'em now, since they're home..."
The doorknob turned, and they both walked into the kitchen.
"Well! That movie was weird. They all fall asleep and turn into giant smurfs! Don't tell your dad I said that though... I think he actually enjoyed it..."
Max looked down and sighed. "Heh... uh.... hmm..."
Mom ignored this and went into the living room. Dad came in after hanging up his coat. "Hey guys! What's goin on?"
Max said nothing. "What? Max what is it? You gotta go back?"
Max sighed and broke silence. "It's more than that..."
Radd turned around, resting his hands behind him, on the sink. "Hey, dad... ...uh... listen... remember back when I moved out? How you said I could come back any time?"
Dad nodded. "Well yeah, Radd.. I mean, I want you to succeed, but we're here to help..."
Radd nodded back and looked down. "Well... I'm uh... gonna be moving again. This time, with Max."
Silence filled the room for several seconds. Finally, Radd looked up at his father, who still seemed to be processing the information. "So, you're gonna go back with Max, huh? That's on a different planet, isn't it?"
Radd half-nodded. "Yeah... you and mom can... come too... I guess..."
Dad shook his head. "Radd... there comes a time in every man's life when he desires to leave his nest, and adventure the world. Believe it or not, I was once the same way. How do you think I met your mother? Right now though, you have the chance to make a name for yourself. We can't get in the way. Even if your mom wants to..."
Max leaned out to see Mom watching TV. She seemed oblivious, but unknown to everyone, she could hear every word, and a tear was rolling down her face.
"What are we going to tell mom?"
Dad rested his hand on Max's shoulder. "We knew YOU would want to go back, Max... the big problem here is... well... Radd's the one leaving behind people and responsibilities. Radd, what are you going to do when you get there? What about your job with Nintendo? What are you gonna tell them?"
Radd shook his head. "Listen... uh... forget Nintendo. They, uh..."
Dad nodded. "Radd, what happened..."
Radd sighed. "I got layed off. Downsizing."
Dad blinked. "I... I don't understand. You were practically a mascot. Why would they lay you off?"
Radd's voice was trembling. "S-something about a new... a new direction. I don't know... I just need to get out of here..."
Max looked concerned. His parents had retired early, thanks to Radd, and now that there was no income... "Dad... what are you and mom going to do without Radd's money?"
Radd shook his head. "Don't worry about it. Tomorrow I'm going to the bank and transferring the entire account. Dad, you and mom should go and move somewhere... I hear you can get houses in Florida pretty cheap these days... "
Dad continued. "...well, what about your bodyguard? Are you going to keep him around?"
Radd shook his head. "Travis? He's... odd, but alright. You can have if you want..."
Dad denied the offer. "Thanks.. but I don't know if I could handle having an assassin around. Especially if he's ranked #1 in the world. Maybe you should call Mr. Touchdown and let him know what's going on."
Radd nodded, and picked up the phone.
Meanwhile, at a local Motel 6, loud grunting and groaning could be heard.
"oooohh yeahh!!! yes... right there.... nnggghhh!!!"
In the run-down apartment, anime dolls, statues, and models adorned the shelves. A small cat chased the random bug that crawled across the carpet, and on the far wall hung various Mexican wrestling masks. All of these shook when a loud, sloppy farting sound echoed through the apartment.
"mmmm... yeaahh... damn... I gotta lay off the burrito supremes..."
Tall, lanky, and somehow resembling a cross between Johnny Depp and Johnny Knoxville, young man Travis Touchdown got up and pulled his pants up (paper? What for?), when his cell phone rang. Travis rolled his eyes. "Always when I'm in the bathroom...". He looked at the number: Radd. "Oh shit..."
"Yeah? Hey Radd... what? wait a minute wait a minute... You're gonna what? What are you talking about? They aren't r-... they are? Why doesn't anybody tell me these things?? ...well, alright... Uh, am I still gonna get payed? No? Oh, I see what you're trying to tell me..."
"No, nonono!! I understand... if that's the case, I think it's about time I hit the road again myself... soon as this diarrhea clears up. Me and my cat are gonna head on down to Texas... give that guy who killed your brother a visit... dunno where I'm goin after that... ...sure... sure... ...no, I won't... not yet... alright Radd.. alright... aha... okay. Was good knowing you, man. take care."
Travis sighed for a moment, and finally hit "end".
"You're on your own, now..."
Max, come home!!
Ch 8: Radd Walker, the Game Master!!
Ahh, the chorus of New York. Cars honking, echoes honking, honking honking... Of course, nobody actually drove in New York. Too many people driving!
"Radd, this is by far the dumbest idea I've ever heard of!!", Max complained.
Radd pretended to ignore Max, as the trio walked the streets of Brooklyn, New York. "Hey babe, you got some sorta X-ray you can look down those pipes with?"
Samus summoned her helmet, after ducking into a back alley. "Yeah, but... it mostly looks like a big circuitboard made of sewers down there... If the Mario Brothers really came from an underground warp pipe here, then... I'm not seeing it. Not unless one of you two has a better clue of where to..."
Samus looked at the two boys. Max was attempting to choke his older brother. "Don't... ever call her babe again. I will shoot you right here."
Radd smiled. "Ooooohhh! Touchy! This how you talk to everyone back where you come from?"
Max's hands were removed from Radd's throat by two metal ones. "Max, I understand you're upset, but this is really not the time. Besides, for chrissake, he's your brother! You guys are like... ...Mario and Luigi now!"
Radd grinned. "Hey, I like the sound of that! I'll be Mario, and you can be Luigi!"
"Yeah", Max screamed. "It only figures you'd pick Mario!!"
Radd laughed at Max. "Well, I *am* older."
"Radd", Samus started, "leave him alone..."
Radd turned around. "What? Him? Does he actually mean something to you? I mean what do you see in him? Did he have some massive growth spurts... down there?"
Samus sighed. "It's like talking to Captain Falcon..."
Radd shrugged. "See, if you were with me, I could make you money. Lots of it. You're a bounty hunter aren't you? You value the almighty dollar right? You're not very marketable if you stick around with a no-name like Max..."
Max had heard enough. He grabbed Radd by the shoulder and punched him in the face, sending the older stumbling backward into some trash cans. "SHE'S NOT SOME OBJECT YOU STUPID FUCK! GET IT THROUGH YOUR SKULL!!"
Radd shook the stars out of his head and looked up. "Well, you aren't a game master, but you might be one hell of an Urban Champion... c'mon, let's go at it!!"
"No..." Samus tried to intervene. "Guys, we..."
It was too late. Max and Radd were already throwing haymakers at each other. Every time Max went for Radd's face, Radd went for Max's stomach. Every time Max went for RADD's stomach, well... you get the idea. Samus tried to intervene several times, but the two boys just ignored her. She couldn't seperate them with much more than physical force either, without running the risk of killing both. Finally, she stood in front of Radd and tried talking to him. He pulled a fist on her, and she instinctively ducked out of the way. Radd nailed Max in the face instead, and he went toppling backwards... into a manhole.
Radd sang and threw up Jazzhands!! A woman in the apartment above dispersed glitter all over the scene in celebration at the new Urban Champion.
Samus was not pleased.
"You tried to punch me, didn't you?"
Radd stopped. "Huh? No! no I didn't!! I was aiming for Max!"
Samus was not persuaded, and picked Radd up by the waist, tossing him into the manhole with Max. After dusting herself off, she moved the manhole cover back into place and sat on top of it. "You guys can come out once you've settled your differences THE RIGHT way."
She could hear voices down below, but not what they were saying. It started violent, but after awhile, it sounded like casual conversation. "Hmm... that was fast..."
Max knocked on the manhole cover's bottom. "Samus!! Get down here!!"
Samus, intrigued, opened the cover and peered in. "What?"
"Check it out!!"
Samus changed into her Varia suit and jumped in. Pressing a button on her helmet, it emitted a bright light. Finally, she followed the two boys down the end of the short path. It ended quite abruptly, with a deep drop into cavernous abyss.
"Does Public Works know about this? I mean this seems pretty dangerous..."
Radd responded. "Don't look a good gift horse in the mouth, Samus. Grappling beam?"
Samus lowered herself and her comrades on a bright wire of magnetic energy, until she could see a cavern floor below. It appeared to be adorned with Skeletons, and one crashed subway.
"Oh god... what happened here? This subway looks to be at least 20 years old!! I can't believe they never found it, or bothered to look..."
Max stared into a skull, angst-ridden and silent. Radd was busy determining the next path. "This way leads to some pipes. There's a strong possibility they went through here..."
Max left the crash and followed in back, strongly regretting the decision to bring Radd along. The only reason he agreed to bring Radd was because he'd already lost his job on Earth, and was getting quite fed up with it. Radd might have to put up with it, but Max could have left him behind and had that be the end of it. It was a wonder to him that Samus had more patience, though her limits remained.
As they continued through the catacombs underneath Brooklyn, a faint rumbling could be heard.
"That can't be the cars above, can it?" Max spoke.
"No...", Radd answered. "I think it's water..."
Max shrugged. "Yeah.. I was gonna say that..."
Following forward, the noise got louder and louder, until details could be heard. Finally, they found themselves staring from the side of a massive waterfall. The bottom could not be seen. Samus pointed them toward an old tire that had floated downstream. Everyone watched it reach the edge and... well, plunge into oblivion.
"How far down is this one?"
Samus shook her head. "X-ray isn't showing a bottom to it... I doubt it is bottomless, though... something's just wrong with the display..."
Max watched the tire fade from view, as the cascade grew darker, and darker. Then, he smiled. "Samus... Samus I got a feelin'..."
Radd groaned and facepalmed. "Oh god, no... you're not going to... Max, it wasn't even a remotely accurate movie!! Mario and Luigi couldn't possibly ha-hey what are you... DOING!?"
Max nervously sweated, and jumped down the pit. There was nothing to slow his fall, or save him from drowning. All he had was faith... and with it, he closed his eyes, hoping his friends would follow...
Max, come home!!
Finale: So That's why it's called Youtube Poop
"...Max? Hey, Max!! Yo!!"
...Max groaned and opened his eyes. the whole room was a big beige blur, and he was still coughing up water.
"Max, can ya hear me? Wake up!!"
...Max's vision began to focus, and he could see a fan spinning in the room... the voice was a bit unfamiliar... a bit... he couldn't put a name to it, but...
"Earth to Max!! would you stop sleeping in all the time?"
Max's eyes focused, and he was looking at Robert. Yes, that Robert.
"R.. rober.. hey, Robert..." Max groaned, as he finally awoke. "How long was I out?'
Robert groaned and shook his head. "You've been missing way too many of your courses, Max... you know, the academic board is gonna have you evicted if you don't attend class today. You need to get going right now."
Max nodded. "Sorry... okay... I-I dunno what's been going on..." Max nodded profusely and headed out the door. Unfortunately, leaving the dormitory was a maze in and of itself, and once he got out, he quickly discovered that he had no clue where class was. What's more, some girl was stalking him the whole time.
"Hey Max... Max!! Max, talk to me!!"
"Dumb girl..." Max thought. "Doesn't she know I'm already seeing... Sa... muuh... Wait, what's going on!? What am I doing here!? How'd I get ba-... Samus?? Mario??? Anyone!!??"
"Max," the girl screamed painfully at him, "Just breathe!!!"
Max tilted his head, confused, and shrugged. "Okay", taking a deep breath. The nighttime environment of a wooded walkway on campus was replaced with dark stalactites and a view of a subterranean lake. Samus was sitting over him, alongside Radd.
"Samus, is he gonna be alright!?" spoke Radd, who for once, looked scared to pieces that his brother might die.
Samus shook her head. "He drowned at the bottom... he'll live, and it looks like he's regaining consciousness..."
Max waved his hand up... "Yah I'm here.."
Samus's tone turned annoyed and then sharply furious at Max. "...but he's swallowed a lot of water, which happens to BE FROM A SEWER STREAM, MAX, YOU STUPID FUCK. Why couldn't you just wait for us, huh? We were so worried that you'd..."
Max was still a little confused. "Does this mean I'm gettin expelled?"
"huh?" Radd blinked.
Samus stared at Max, quite awkwardly, for several seconds... "huh?"
Max knitted his eyebrows. "What?"
Radd joined in the Link game. "scuse me?"
"We're asking you..."
Samus shook her head. "This isn't good. Physically, its a miracle he survived the impact with the water's surface. Despite what they say in movies, hitting water from heights like that? Not too different from concrete..."
Radd was confused. "...what's wrong with him?"
Samus gently lifted Max in her arms. "Max, does it hurt when I pick you up?"
Max just smiled. "No... no I dun think so..."
Samus sighed. "It must have something to do with him ingesting sewer water... we need to get him to a Doctor, right away.... our only hope of that... continue on."
Max looked up at the strange woman carrying him. It was Samus, he knew her, but she seemed so... free. Most of her shading was gone, and she looked like a poorly animated cartoon. Radd, nearby, seemed to have hair that animated on its own as he zoomed in and out of view, while talking. And why was Samus smiling all the time?? Heck, why was Radd signing everything he said? And where was that music coming from?
"ENOUGH", Radd spoke. "WE must get HIM to an INFIRMAREEEE!! If we don't hurry now..."
"RAAAAAAADDD!!" Samus whined.
"Don't worry, Samus. I'm SURE he'll be ALRIGHT!" said Radd, while waving his hand.
For a minute, Samus's head appeared to melt and wobble as she spoke, and her hair had a mind of its own. Then, Radd broke the odd moment by pointing. "Samus, LOOK!!!"
At the end of the hall was a small metal pipe jutting into the cave wall. "We've got this pipe, see..."
Samus nodded. "I think he's getting worse. Let's hurry on through."
Max was pulled by Samus, as the three of them crawled down the wide piping. At one point, Radd looked backwards, only to find that there was a brick wall behind them... in addition, the sound of running water could no longer be heard. All was silent, in a dark, cramped space.
"ooooooooohh.." Samus shivered. "Where d'you think it took us?"
"You kiddin?", Radd smirked. "I'm sure this is nothing to you, but surely we're in..."
Radd crawled out and into pitch darkness, save for a small beam of light in the distance. As he moved toward the light, suddenly...
WHAM!!! Radd hit his head on a pipe in the darkness. "AAaahhhh..." stumbling backward, Radd's head found another. Then he tripped over one, landing on his back. "...the pipe maze..."
Samus activated a night vision scanner in her helmet, and walked around the complex piping toward the light source. It was a small sewer grate, adjacent to a manhole.
"Hey, up there!! Anyone?? Someone, please, help!!"
There was no response. Instead, Samus was forced to dislodge the manhole with a missile. Then, she grapple beamed the two boys out. They were in a very lovely, very regal looking bathroom. crowns adorned the stall doors, bright colors and a checkerboard floor could be seen about, and the door outside was halfway open anyway.
"Huh..." Radd pondered. "This doesn't FEEL like Pipe maze..."
Samus sighed, annoyed. "It's not... I know where we are... MAAAAAAAAAARRRRIIIIIOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"
No response. Samus growled and stormed off, toward the smell of some pasta. Still carrying Max, she was accompanied by Radd, close behind.
"So uh... Mario..." Radd asked, nervously. "What's he... what's he like? Is he cool?"
Samus couldn't help but laugh. "Yeah, he likes to think he is... follow the smell of pasta, and WHY ISN'T HE RESPONDING WHEN I SAY..."
Mario was at the dinner table, appearing to be in some form of Zen meditation, his nose hanging over a big, big plate of spaghetti. Max opened his eyes at the smell before him.
"Geeeeee, sure is early for ya guys to be back heah, ehluigi??"
Luigi nodded, noting the lack of food with an odd smile. "I HOPE YOU MADE LOTSA SPAGHETTI!!!!11!1!!11"
Mario looked at Max, and suddenly became something horrified. "LUIGI, LOOK!!! WHAT'S WRONG WITH IM??"
Samus urgently responded. "He's swallowed sewer water... long story. Mario, you're the only person we know who can cure him... ...he's going to die if we don't hurry!"
Mario nodded. "Just a sec", and ran off, leaving the big plate a spaghetti behind. Moments later, he came back sporting a lab coat, tie, headlamp, and a stethoscope. "Alright don't worry everyone!! It won't be long I'll get it done..."
The drama outside the O.R. was unbearable, until Megaman showed up. Apparently he'd heard the news as well. Radd almost fell head-over-heels when he saw one of his favorite childhood robots come to life before his eyes. Megaman just looked concerned.
"Are you sure this isn't the person that should be in the O.R?"
Radd picked himself up and shook Megaman's hand. "Sorry, sorry.. it's just... wow!!! You're Mega Man!!"
Megaman politely grinned back, in a similar demeanor. "Oh, no please! I insist, call me Rock! If you are a good friend of Max's, you can certainly refer to me on a first-name basis as well..."
Radd was nervously fumbling his words, trying to remember what hand to shake Megaman with. "uh, uh uh uh uhhhh uhh... sorry... it's just... this is kind of a big deal.. Slow down, Radd... its alright... it's just... its just the robot that takes the other powers and doesn't afraid of anyt-OH GOD ITS MEGAMAN..."
Rock started laughing. "Well!! If you get this crazy over me, I wonder how you'll react when Link gets here!!"
"OH MY GOD LINK IS COMING HERE!? WHAT!? FOR REAL!!?? MEGAMAN, YOU HAVE TO INTRODUCE ME!! OH GOD HE'S GONNA THINK I'M A CRAZY FANBOY..."
Samus turned away from the window and looked at Radd. "you ARE a crazed fanboy. I think you and Link will get along nicely..."
Suddenly, an elf head poked out around the corner, as if on cue. "Someone mention my name? What'd I do now??"
Radd clambered after Link, before Megaman held him back. Link shrugged, unable to figure out the gesture, and pretended to run toward Radd as well, also pretending to be held back. "OH MY GOD OH MY GOD I'M ME!!!"
Link just smiled. "Hi, I'm Link!! Is this Max's room?"
Radd, silently, just nodded. "yeah... he's in bad shape, cause he swallowed some uh... sewer water... ...so, you're the one from Zelda 1..."
"Huh?" Link asked. "Oh, the games... I dunno, how many are there? Hey, is Max in there?"
Samus sighed. "What do you think, Link?"
"Hey, I couldn't tell!! Everyone's sitting out here!!"
"Link, they're OPERATING ON HIM..." Samus spoke, as Mario could be seen shoving a large red plunger into Max's face, like a toilet.
"Well, I'm sort of a doctor!! I'm gonna go take a look..."
"NO LINK DON'T"
Max opened his eyes again, to loud commotion in the operating room. A plunger over his face, he watched as an overly fat-looking Mario in a doctor's outfit moved his flappy mouth up and down, spouting what sounded like cliche'd lines at some poor metrosexual boy. Then, the boy saw him, and ran straight up to him, staring at Max with sexy, passionate eyes, perfect eyelashes, and a little pink lipstick.
"Oh boy!!!" Link exaggerated, gesturing wildly with his arms, his eyes rolling around in circles. "He's so drugged out, He could smoke an OCTOROCK!!!" Max just laughed along, enjoying his high.
"Hey, you!" spoke an especially angry Mario. "Get outta my lab!!"
"Goooollly!!!" Link responded, pulling away from Mario as if they were about to make out. "It sure is BOOOORRRING IN HERE!!"
"Look, mah boy..." Mario ordered, his mouth hanging open and his index finger pointed up, as if to make a point. "IF YOU NEED INSTRUCTIONS, ON HOW TO EXIT MY LAB, PLEASE CHECK MY FOOT ENCLOOOOOOSEEDD WITHIN YOUR ASS!!"
"I WON!!!" Link exclaimed, as he flew out of the room on a pair of wings. Max couldn't help but laugh about the whole spectacle. To him, it was just hilarious and totally natural. He briefly looked outside, and saw Samus with an arab style turban on, Radd screaming about his ass, and, on cue, Megaman's face turning into what appeared to be an image of Gutsman's rear end. After what seemed like an eternity to Max, the hallucinations subsided, and guests were allowed in.
"Max, can you hear us??" Samus trembled. "time to wake up!!"
Max yawned, and looked straight at her. She seemed perfectly normal, as did Mario, Link, Radd, and Megaman. At this, he nodded. "Yeah... yeah... I'm all fine now... But that was the best damn high I ever had... and now its gone..."
Mario started laughing. "Oh don't be so down and glum. I'm sure I could recreate de effect with a few mushrooms..."
Radd looked over at his brother. "Hey... Max. What you did back there was pretty ballsy. Stupid, pointless, but ballsy..."
Max nodded. "Thanks, Radd..."
Radd licked his upper lip, and nodded, before responded. "Yeah, uh... those things I said... you know I only said em cause I thought... you know..."
"no I don't."
Radd tried to talk his way out of absurdity. "Well, uh... you know... look, I'm sorry. About what I said. I guess I was just excited and scared... ...so... you're the game master?
Mario smiled and nodded. "Da best in da land. Well, de only in da land, but still... he's not exactly helpless..."
Max smiled up. "Maybe Mario can make you like me.. what do you think?"
Mario shook his head. "Hey, all I did was appeal to all da right strings, Max. If Radd seriously wants ta do ya job with ya, he's gonna need ta talk ta Lana n Kevin!!"
"Huh?" Radd asked. "Who are Lana and Kevin?"
Max smiled and shook his head. "Long story. Just try not to piss them off. They're nobility."
In Mario's office, reunions and happiness were found all about. It seemed that Max's near death experience might have truly united him and his brother in a type of friendship they lost in their early years.
..the same could not be said about one "old dragon".
Aboard an unknown vessel in deep space...
"Sir, you haven't been eating..."
Brooding, Ridley curled up. "What point. Any minute now, he could come after me... any... minute..."
The pirate looking after him was confused. "Sir?"
"The monster!!! The monster with the blue hair and the cape!! Didn't ANY of you see him?? He looks like the grim reaper got mixed with some sorta vampire!! I CAN'T DO ANYTHING ANYMORE CAUSE OF THAT GUY!!!"
The pirate looked at Ridley, then at the pirate next to him. Both smiled and nodded. "Uhuh... Ridley, how long has it been since mean ol' "Magus Man" came to visit "Ridley-Widley?"
"Huh???" Ridley said, in an odd state of tranquilization. "Oh, uh... He only really showed up like twice, waaaaaay back..."
The pirates nodded. "Yeah. You should probably get off your ass now, sir... I mean, you don't live forever... ...unless maybe you ate a 1-up Mushroom I guess..."
Ridley blinked and turned to face him. "A whatwhat marshmallow?"
"Sir, a 1-up Mushroom!! Samus ate one... it makes you age real slow!! The pirates think its about time you actually tried pursuing this treasure... for you own-"
Ridley tossed both pirates aside. "WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME ABOUT THIS DAMN THING!?"
One pirate weakly picked himself up. "B-b-but sir!! We thought you knew!!"
Ridley once again looked at the pirate in confusion, before sitting down in a chair. "Oh... ...yeah I guess that makes sense... but... what if Magus comes back??" Ridley said, worriedly.
The smart pirate shook his finger. "Well, you won't be here..."